Post by Sophia Amoruso

I have three weeks to move to London, and things are starting to feel real. On the to-do list: get a UK phone number (what if I just don’t have a phone? Could be chic!), open a bank account (will they see that I bankrupted a company and simply say no?), find a storage unit for the things I refuse to part with yet refuse to ship, sell a few Yamazaki Home organizing thingalings on Facebook Marketplace to people who love to ask, “Is this still available?” and then disappear into the abyss, and figure out what to do with my car lease (Lord how I wish they drove on the right side of the road over there). All of this while launching something exciting (because what is life without a little unnecessary pressure?), flying this weekend to speak at a conference next week, and heading to Alabama to shoot something fun—but also still working, because, you know, capitalism. I’m also living in some sort of tiny apartment prank life with 3 (also tiny) poodles who, each time I walk into a room, follow me silently like toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Alright, back to consulting with ChatGPT on how much it’ll cost me to buy out this car lease.