Post by Richard Cartlidge

‘Blue Monday’…the most depressing day of the year? We need humour: “Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" (Richard Stott) “I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed" (Olaf Falafel) “A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" (Jake Lambert) “A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it." (Ross Smith) “I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it." (Adele Cliff) “I had a job drilling holes for water - it was well boring." (Leo Kearse) “I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts." (Darren Walsh) "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" (Alexei Sayle) "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free." (Darren Walsh) "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter." (Masai Graham) “My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances." (Nish Kumar) "I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time." (Tom Ward) #future