Post by Robin Singh

Today I realized two things I do that most people don't. Both together have helped me progressively close gap between my values and my actions, and that has ultimately led to a more fulfilling life. Although examples I share mention animal suffering, the post isn't about that. 29 years ago, someone asked me why I fed dogs but ate goats. My answer was "I've never thought about it". It took me a year of eating "just gravy" and was eventually able to go completely vegetarian. 18 years ago, someone asked me why I don't eat animals. I had a clear answer that "I don't want to cause animal suffering any more than I absolutely have to for surviving." They brought up the prolonged suffering of cows, which is way worse than hens and goats. I had no idea about it, and then I started looking into it. Since me being vegetarian wasn't about keeping my body free of animal products, but about not causing suffering...I tried finding cruelty free cheese. After understanding the economics of dairy, it was clear that no such product is commercially viable and I begrudgingly turned vegan after a year. 14 years ago amidst my early mid-life crisis I had a realisation that my very life comes at a cost to others. Afterall I need to consume something to live ... consumption requires production ... and all forms of production (farming, mining) causes someone to suffer somewhere. I felt how could I continually make a choice to keep living every day while knowing that my life has a suffering footprint. My values said "don't do to others that you don't want done to you.", but my survival itself was causing others to suffer. I either had to remove myself from the equation or I had to re-purpose my life to work against suffering. I chose latter and chose to spend my life trying to help others the way I'd have wanted to be helped if I were in their situation. All three times I could have just chosen to rationalize my then current actions; make an excuse to cover up the gap between my values and actions when that gap got highlighted either by a logical question, or new information or my own emotion. Although that would have removed the pain of cognitive dissonance, my life's trajectory would have been very different and misstep by misstep I'd have mislived my life. So what do I do that most people don't? One, I am clear on what I value. Two, when a discrepancy gets highlighted, instead of perceiving it as an attack ... I validate it, and course correct if needed.