Post by Ishita Ganguly

My closest friends dumped me when I was in depression. All my life I've been a loyal & supportive friend. I've been a good listener. So, it was natural that my friends would approach me & talk about their many woes. I've always tried to listen to them with patience & sincerity. When I reached an extremely low phase of depression after college I was dumped by my good friends. Friends I thought loved me because I've always loved them. They were shaping up their life, reading motivational books & surrounding themselves with positivity. Naturally, I could not be in their 'surroundings' because I was not a positive influence on them. They avoided taking my calls, replied to my texts briefly & hesitatingly. They even stopped including me in their plans. I was not invited anymore to any of their outings. I was depressed but I was not stupid. I started distancing myself from them. I was lonely & miserable at the time I most needed some company. I was left out by friends who I thought would stick around me through thick & thin. As I would've done for them. Now, this is not a tragic tale where I keep feeling sorry for myself. Why am I suddenly sharing this story with you then? Because recently I'm seeing Life Coaches are constantly preaching how you could live your best life removing all negativity in your life. I'm a big believer in positivity but having struggled with depression I've only ONE thing to declare. Rarely, people choose depression. Everyone wants to be happy. When you judge people for being negative or eliminate friends from your circle, are you truly a positive person? Aren't you toxic as well? In these trying times, many people are adopting a fantastic mindset of staying happy & positive all the time. Even I'm trying my best to keep up with it. But remember, many people are falling into depression every now & then. Should you ignore them? Should you make them feel they're dead even when they are around & breathing? You're trying to achieve the best. They are trying to NOT kill themselves. Trust me, they are trying more than you. Because I know their struggle. Because I was doing the same struggle even a few years back. My point is, positive mindset is great but the new age "toxic positivity" is bad. If you can't help a friend in the time of their need you have failed in the basic area of humanity. Just thought to share this because so many are sharing the concept of toxic positivity. Please share your thoughts. You don't have to agree with me.😊 P.S.The photo below is when I wasn't feeling my best P.P.S. The friends I mentioned congratulated me after my book, "Stories from the City called Kolkata" released last year. They said they were proud to have an author friend & wanted to meet me. I hope you can understand if I've found any interest in meeting them. But I'm grateful they taught me a valuable life lesson. Whether you're positive or negative if you're successful, people will want to be around you!😄