Post by Avantika Penumarty

I almost talked myself out of negotiating. The offer came in. It looked good. I was already thinking about saying YES. I grew up watching my parents take whatever they were given. Don't ask for more. I am sure a lot of immigrants might have heard this phrase "Be grateful you have something". That was survival for them and I get it. But I carried that into my career without realizing it. Then someone asked me: did you counter? I said no. I didn't want to seem ungrateful. She looked at me and said: they expected you to. The first number is never the real number. I went back. Heart pounding. Fully convinced they'd pull the offer. They didn't. They came up. Same day. The money I left on the table in my first three jobs because I was raised not to ask is genuinely painful to think about now. Nobody teaches you this. Not in school. Not in your first job. Especially not when you grew up watching your parents just say thank you and move on. The offer is the start of the conversation. Not the end. They will not pull it for asking. If they do, you didn't want that job anyway. And the raise you don't ask for is the one you never get. Have you ever negotiated? Or did you take the first number because asking felt wrong?