Harry Mastedon

Open the right door and you'll go free, open the wrong door and there he'll be.

Clinton, Missouri, United States

About

A strapping mature man, a distinguished patriarch of a band of children, strong as an ox and younger below the belt, capable of many things. I got my thrills and then I got my pills, you know what I mean. I’ve been there and done that, better than some and worse than others. I always think about the summer of 77’ with Doris, ask me about it! never hesitate to back hand a shady business partner, a bad deal, or any MFer who steps at you in the wrong way. it's ALL about respect.

Experience

  • Master of Disaster at Self Employed

  • Content Specialist at PornHub
    Feb 2026 - Present · 5 mos

    I am in charge of quality control for all Pornhub content - that includes EVERYTHING, from big swinging dicks, big jugs, and the best ass and pussy. I do it all here, I’m a team of one and I spend the whole day reviewing porn. If it does’t get me hard, it doesn’t make the cut. It is my way of giving back after taking so much! I got a few of my own movies included, I went by Claude and was known to use an eggplant 🍆 in my scenes, mostly on others when my own cock lost stamina. I specialize in Latinas and anal vids mostly

  • Head of Operations at Mastedon Associates LLC
    2008 - Present · 18 yrs 6 mos

    My sons and I run a tight ship. We grease all the palms and suck all the dicks we need to for that deal for a cool 1.3 million. We’ll get in bed with anyone for money, we are corporate whores and we will go down on you for 100,000 george washingtons. Imagine precisely what you want, and imagine me providing you with it. Would you take a plunge into that gorgeous lady’s @$? I bet you would, and so would I, so let’s do it together!

  • Butthole Analyst at Ass cracks and holes, inc.
    Sep 2020 - Aug 2025 · 5 yrs

    If you can put a finger in it and smell nothing on your finger, you’ve got the best asshole there is. My company creates clean assholes for everybody to enjoy. Maybe you shit bricks and always have a stinky butthole, and want that Mr. Clean feeling in your sphincter. Or, maybe you’re gay and just like a good asshole to fuck. Contact me for a free consultation, it is free for women, charges for men, will take pictures and have our web team analyze your asshole for dynamic solutions.

  • Head of Department at National Foundation of Jerking Off
    May 1997 - Jul 2008 · 11 yrs 3 mos

    I started from the bottom and worked my way up to the top, always finishing what I started with great enthusiasm. It was hard and sometimes I couldn’t finish, but once I rose to do what I needed to do I could usually pick it up again. It was always a big deal and my hands were always full.